Coping with Grief
The Regret Trap
[Journaling] may not be the answer for everyone but all the experiment takes is some paper, a pen and a box of tissues. When I think of my father now, which is quite often, my memories are not plagued with guilt. I think of the funny things he said or how much we are alike. I can stop dwelling on the "what ifs." I did what I could at the time and I did it with love. There are no regrets.
Your Attitude and Your Grief
Sherry Williams White, nurse, writer and grief specialist, shares with you her find on the world wide internet that explains grief is all about your ATTITUDE! Do you see your glass half full or half empty?
Single Again but Still a Parent
Being a single parent is not an easy job. It is even more difficult when your loved one has died and you are trying to deal with your own pain and grief as well as helping your children deal with their loss. Sister Mauryeen O'Brien, Grief Specialist, provides good, solid information for traveling this difficult journey.
Finding Something to Notice
The wife of one of the 9/11 heros shares a story about how important it is to remember the little things in life, the little things that happen daily, that we take for granted. She stresses how important it is to look for those things everyday and to cherish them because we don't know how long we will have them.
What to Expect When You Are Grieving
Deb Kosmer lists expectations for your journey through grief.
Magnolias
Sometimes in our grief, the sources of comfort come from the most unsuspected places. This is an absolutely beautiful story of love, a wedding, and how a wedding fiasco provided just the healing needed for a man whose wife had died. When you read this story you will find out who is helping who. Written by Edna Ellison, popular writer and speaker from Clinton South Carolina.
Living in the Moment
Deb Kosmer, writer, nurse and grief specialist, shares information about Living in the Moment when it isn't easy to face the next second. She writes: Living in the moment may sound like good advice; a reminder that when we live in the past or put our life on hold until some hoped for future, we may miss the beauty and the magic of today. However, what about when there is no magic and we can't see the beauty because our eyes are blinded by tears or our heart is so full of anger and despair. Where do we live then? Another thing people often say is; "This is the only moment we have." This moment then becomes a life sentence to those whose hearts have just been broken. "This moment," when all hope for seems to be lost, when we are hoping it is only a nightmare and soon our world will return to normal just by waking up, only to find the nightmare continues.
Hush, My House
Kathy Teipen, writer, hospice and grief specialist shares ideas for finding the quiet that lies within all of us and how that quiet can be just the time for reflection and growth as we move through our grief. Sometrimes we need the quiet to calm our spirit and find our way.
Life Gives Us Pain, but Misery is Optional
When a deep and profound love is ripped apart by death, how does the surviving person move on with life? What is it that allows one person to bear and work through the grief while another is devastated for years? A loving survivor is bound to grieve-a great love has been severed-but how does one hold the misery at bay and not be engulfed by it? Does excessive mourning indicate a deeper love, a more heartfelt loss? Or does it demonstrate a lack of adequate tools to process grief and go on with living? Thomas Strawser, writer, grief specialist provides answers to these questions and more in this article.
Assertive Bill of Rights
I have the right to say no without feeling guilty. I have the right to be treated with respect. In the Assertive Bill of Rights, understand that you have the right to cope with your loss and your grief without having to fulfill the expectations of others.
The Second Ten Commandments
Susan Smith, editor and author, shares ten simple rules for decreasing stress and coping with your grief. These ten simple rules fashioned after the Ten Commandments are guidelines for all to follow in order to make life easier.
In Search of Hope
What is hope? After someone dies, we look for hope more than ever. Sherry Williams White, nurse, writer and grief specialist, shares her insight on what hope is and how we find it in the midst of our grief. She writes: Hope is not something you can touch or feel or see. Hope is an emotional state. Hope is the desire or search for a future good. It is the wish for or expectation that something will be better and the expectation that there can be a positive outcome even when the present condition is to the contrary. But, how do you find it in the midst of pain and suffering?
The Fence
During grief, families often find themselves arguing over things that are just things. Susan Smith, editor and writer, tells a story about uniting two brothers and the power of forgiveness. Life is short and relationships are precious. Perhaps this story will soften your heart and help you think about those you need to forgive.
Are We There Yet?
Suzanne Howell takes a unique look at grief and addresses the many variables that impact grief. She explains why grief is different for each of us. As she attempts to answer the question of how long "this" will take, she explains why each person and their life experiences control our adaptability to the changes we encounter and how and when we will develop a new normal. For each person, the timeline for grief is different and it never moves as fast as we want it to. Suzanne also provides creative ways for grieving individuals to move forward in a positive way as they learn to live without the presence of their loved one.
Role Model: How One Woman Lives Out the Role She Was Cast In
Rachael Zients, grieving child, mother, writer and grief specialist, shares the story about her Father's death and the book that her mother wrote about her after the death of her dad. Rachael shares with remarkable insight how she coped with her loss and how she has used it to help her be who she is today. She tells the story about her life as the little girl who drew upside down hearts until she learned to put her world back together again.
While in Grief, Music Will Calm Your Heart
Because your world has been turned topsy-turvy by the death of a loved one, it is very helpful to look for ways to calm the heart and spirit. Music is one way to do just that. It can uplift your soul. It can awaken the spirit and lighten the heart. Music helps us clear our minds, and it also conjures up memories. And, oh, how we long to hold onto those memories now that our loved one has died.
Journaling Your Journey Through Grief
One simple thing you can do to help you with your grief is to pick up a journal and start writing about your feelings. Many people are uncomfortable with writing but it can be very therapeutic. This article shares ideas that will help you release your fear and your grief. One person writes: "Writing seemed to be the only way I was able to give voice to my grief," says Mark, who suddenly and tragically, lost his sister in 1992. "Journaling allowed me to express the rage I had for being deprived of growing old with the one person I love more than anything in life." He continues, "Now as I read over those entries from many years ago, I can see how important it was for me to face the darkness head on. By facing the unthinkable, I was able to return to the light." Tony Falzano, writer, songwriter and grief specialist, shares insight on the power of journaling.
Count Your Blessings
Sherry Williams White shares an exercise she used with the firefighters in NYC after 911 to help them find perspective and grab on to small pieces of hope so they could cope with their losses and learn to live again. This exercise does not negate the loss but helps those who are grieving see that even in the middle of crisis - good things continue to happen to them.
The Use of Music During Grief Resolution (Part 3)
Tony Falzano, musician and author, shares his third and last article on music and grief and how it specifically acts as a healing agent for those grieving a loss. In the previous session, we examined how music can direct our attention from uneasy surroundings and divert us away from pain. This month, we'll look at another way music can help us through the grief process.